A person in recovery wrote me an email with just these four words, “Will it ever stop?”
I have to tell you that my heart went out to this person immediately. We have all experienced the suffering that precedes a question like this.
If this person is talking about addiction the answer is yes it will stop once we surrender, reach out to others for help, and do the work necessary to heal and change our life in a sustainable way.
Surrender does not mean we are giving up our creativity, our will and our power. In addiction we have already given these things up.
Surrender means we are humbly aligning ourselves with the reality we are facing. We cannot overcome addiction alone. In 25 years, I’ve never met a person who could heal without love, guidance and support from others. We are social beings. We heal through relationship!
So, surrender means to open oneself up to a greater source of power than what has been available within the current construct.
My daily surrender has to do with not being alone with confusion, negativity or potentially dangerous thinking.
It comes from the understanding of where my strength lies and to what forces I am vulnerable. And it goes far beyond a commitment to not take drugs or alcohol.
One of the most important skills to develop in recovery is to be in regular communication with people who can support you on your path to Truth and with teachers who can guide you there.
If today you are asking yourself, “Will it ever stop,” take an action that brings you into contact with people who have the consciousness you desire. Reach out to them, connect with them, ask them for help, emulate what they do. Very soon you will find that you have lived your way into the answer.
And if you do not know where to find them, try a 12-Step meeting, the Recovery 2.0 community on Facebook, a yoga or meditation community, a spiritual or religious community. Someone in these environments is carrying the light. And if you are truly looking for it they will shine brightly and you will notice them when you get there.
Will it ever stop? Not if you are alone in a room trying to think your way out of it.
Come into community. Take the action. Save your life. Move Beyond Addiction and be free.